Podcast

Staying Connected To Hope With Mia Fieldes

09.18.19

This week on the podcast, I’m chatting with Mia Fieldes, who I first discovered through another podcast. Whenever I become obsessed with someone’s story, I love to look them up, but Mia is a very private person. We start off talking about the pressure today to share everything while we’re in it. As my mentor says, we have to teach from our scars not our scabs. “You have to be okay with some things being hidden.” Mia is a Grammy-nominated songwriter who is from Australia and is living in Nashville with her husband. She has written songs for Hillsong, including No. 1 radio hits ‘He Knows My Name,’ ‘Chainbreaker,’ and ‘First.’ On this episode, we talk about pursuing God’s calling as well as staying connected to hope and keeping perspective in seasons of singleness.

Pursuing God’s Calling

  • “When I was really little, I really did think I was going to do something amazing.”
  • She grew up as a triplet and remembers when her sisters would go to bed she would write letters to God saying, “One day I’m going to do something amazing for you. One day I’m going to write songs all over the world.”
  • “Faith is incredibly hard and it’s incredibly easy.”
  • Her mother was 22, single, and pregnant with triplets. She struggled with drug abuse, they lived in the projects, and they received food stamps from the Salvation Army.
  • The Salvation Army noticed her mother had three little kids and so they brought them to Sunday school. There, Mia sang songs about Jesus and developed the foundation of her faith.
  • “My mom was on the same journey as I was.”

 

Staying Connected to Hope in Singleness

  • “How do you believe God for something that is fully dependent on somebody else’s free will?”
  • She spent a lot of time being single and didn’t even kiss a boy until she was 22.
  • When she was beginning her first relationship, she realized that she was putting so much pressure on it because she had waited so long to enter her first relationship.
  • “I felt a grace to be single.”
  • You have to follow peace so that when you are in the storm your peace is your anchor.
  • “Everyone told me marriage would be hard… and I thought ‘yeah but being single is hard.'”
  • It’s all your perspective, but there is beauty in every season.
  • “When you get to a certain age, people put limitations on you that God never does.”
  • She notices that everyone seems to be fighting for a piece of the pie, but everyone gets their own whole pie. She got her own promise from God.

 

Keeping Perspective

  • We need to be optimistic. If we spend our energy complaining, we will get no closer to where we want to be. We will receive that negative energy back.
  • “You create your world with your words.”
  • Mia recalls the journey she went on with God guiding her toward a positive mindset and eventually her husband. “God plucked my husband seemingly out of nowhere.”
  • “If you have to convince someone into something, then believe me someone will convince them out of it.”
  • It’s easy to worry about the things you’ll have to compromise on, but when the right person comes along, you’ll realize there is no real compromise to be made.
  • “It’s so important to go to God for yourself and get your own promise. Otherwise you will filter what God is doing with you through everyone else’s story.”
  • “I don’t want the plagiarized version of somebody else’s story.”
  • Mia says that her husband, Joren, has been healing for her.
  • “God is writing a way bigger story than you can think about.”

 

Top Three Things To Look For In Your Person

  • Look for someone who is committed to change.
  • A partner must also be able to handle conflict well.
  • Communication!

Mia doesn’t have a website, but she does have an Instagram! You can give her a follow at @miafieldes. If you want to hear more details of her story, listen to this episode of the C3 NYC podcast.

If you are enjoying the podcast, I want to invite you to leave a rating and review on iTunes! We love hearing what your favorite episodes are and always welcome any general feedback! It also helps us be more visible in the iTunes world. If you want to leave a review but don’t know how, head over to @therefinedcollective on Instagram and find the “Review 101” under story highlights.

 

Hey, single ladies— are you frustrated by the dating world? This episode is brought to you by my free guide called “6 Tips to Activate Your Dating Life with Intention and Clarity.” These resources helped propel me from sitting on the couch to out on a date. Head over to Bit.ly/trwdatingtips to check it out! With you on the journey.

XO,

Kat

Check out this episode!

Podcast

Babies, Botox + Body Image

09.10.19

It’s been a minute since I’ve done a solo show! I’m going to be honest with you guys: one of my fears is that you will only listen to the podcast if I have guests on or that the podcast will only grow if I have guests sharing the episode with their communities. But I’m moving through this insecurity and bringing the fear to light to give it less power. That being said, I am committed to stepping into this vulnerable space and doing more solo shows for you! Randomly during one of my workout classes the phrase “babies, botox, and body image” popped into my head. So that’s what we are going to discuss today! Before we dive in, I want you to know that you have permission to be in the process and on the journey. None of us are perfect!

Babies

  • I’ve always wanted to be a mother, but life has not turned out like I thought it would.
  • This year is the first time I started to feel that biological clock start ticking.
  • I don’t want fear driving me into a relationship because of pressure to get things going.
  • Even in the midst of disappointment and unmet expectations, I am allowed to hope.
  • It’s okay to want to have babies and it’s okay to not want to have babies.
  • 1 Samuel 1: Hannah asks God for a son and she ends her life with five children.
  • Mark Batterson, author of The Circle Maker, says to be bold and specific in prayer and then surrender.
  • It’s okay to be honest with God about your desire.  It’s ok to be disappointed with God. He can handle it. He is gracious, kind, and patient. He wants to be in relationship with us.

“You’re allowed to be a person in process.”  

Botox

  • People ask me what I do for my skin and the reality is that I take really good care of it (Rodan and Fields anti aging system, Primally Pure toxic free clarifying serum, hyolauronic acid)… and I also get botox.
  • Botox always felt so vain and fake in my opinion, so I judged myself for wanting it.
  • Even though I really love it, I have still felt shame about it and felt silently judged when it comes up in conversations.
  • We need to disconnect from the “should,” because then we can really unfold why we want this thing and discover if it is in alignment with who we are.
  • I judged myself because I wanted to look and feel younger. I felt like I’d be letting you down if you knew that I still have insecurities—but I am in process just as you are.
  • “Do we have space for each other to be on a journey?  Gosh, I sure hope so.”

Body Image

  • I love the body positivity movement and the fact that women like Ashley Graham are literally changing the game in the fashion industry and in our culture.
  • I do think we live in a culture of extremism, though. I’m a size 6, but models that are getting jobs are size 00 or size 12+. It still breeds the mentality of ‘not enough.’
  • Is there space for a person like me to be represented in our culture? I have lost ‘influencer’ jobs for not being skinny enough + now for not being big enough.
  • “It’s almost felt as though I don’t have the permission to struggle with my body image because I’m in the middle of the road.”
  • I overcame an eating disorder and praise God for that! (If you didn’t know that, I have an episode all about it.) I am healthy but I also have days where I don’t feel confident.
  • I was listening to This American Life recently called “Ten Sessions” where a woman goes into therapy sessions while moving through abuse from childhood. She had to give herself permission to grieve and seek healing from a sexual abuse where she wasn’t raped. She didn’t think her pain was valid because it wasn’t as bad as someone else’s.
  • “Wholeness is acknowledging that my stuff is worth gaining freedom from no matter how big or little I think it is.”
  • I hope that our culture can keep embracing body positivity and that we create a culture of honor for all shapes and sizes.

My hope is that my story reminds you that

you’re not alone,

you’re allowed to hope,

you’re allowed to be imperfect,

you’re allowed to be on a journey.

You, just as you are today right now, are enough.

Let’s talk about these things! Head over to @therefinedcollective and let’s have a conversation. I want to thank you for all of your encouraging comments, DMs, and reviews. I want to hear what episode has meant the most to you! Let us know in a review on iTunes and while you’re there, make sure you subscribe so you can get new episodes delivered to your phone as soon as they go live!

Hey, single ladies— are you frustrated by the dating world? This episode is brought to you by my free guide called “6 Tips to Activate Your Dating Life with Intention and Clarity.” These resources helped propel me from sitting on the couch to out on a date. Head over to Bit.ly/trwdatingtips to check it out! With you on the journey.

Check out this episode!

XO,

Kat Harris

Podcast

CBD 101: Everything You Need To Know About CBD

09.04.19

Has anyone else noticed that CBD is totally having a moment? You’re probably wondering ‘What is CBD?’ ‘Can I Get High From CBD?’ and ‘Is CBD legal?’ I put out a poll on IG stories and asked you if you’d want me to have an expert on to learn more about it and it just so happens that my bestie Boronia Fallshaw is the founder of Mello. We’re recording from my bed, just like the episodes with my other besties Sara and Amanda.  

“I think it’s important, when you’re talking about something like CBD, to completely understand it scientifically so you know how it’s going to affect your body.”

What Is CBD vs THC? Why Is CBD Legal?

  • A cannabinoid is a chemical compound that exists in cannabis—there are about 85. They work with your endocannabinoid system which regulates homeostasis.
  • Our bodies already create endocannabinoids, but when we get sick things get deficient and the system doesn’t function properly.
  • You can bring your body back to homeostasis through the use of cannabinoids.
  • CBD is a cannabinoid that works with the cannabinoid receptors outside of your brain, that’s why it doesn’t give you the high.
  • THC works with the receptors inside your brain, thus causing highs.
  • CBD only recently became legalized. For a long time, it was in a grey area.
  • As of December 2018, the Farm Bill was approved, which legalized products containing hemp-derived cannabinoids, including CBD and THC. However, the concentration of THC within each product can never be above 0.3%.
  • Something to be aware of: CBD sometimes comes up on drug tests.

How To Identify A Good Product

  • “Read the packaging labels and read the ingredient labels.”
  • Check the amount of CBD. A reputable brand will list the gross amount (total in the package) as well as the recommended serving.
  • Cannabinoids only come from: stalks, leaves, flowers, buds, and stems. Seed oils do not contain cannabinoids, but can function well in beauty products.
  • See if it is full spectrum, broad spectrum, or an isolate. Make sure it is hemp-derived!
  • Full spectrum includes the limited amount of THC, the anti-oxidants, the omega 3’s.
  • Broad spectrum is the same, minus the THC. Isolate is when ONLY the CBD is extracted.

What You Need To Know About Edibles

  • A lot of cafes will have drinks that include CBD, but you should be careful of that.
  • “When you’re ingesting any edible, you’re only getting 20% of it.”
  • So if they are using an oil that is designed to be held under the tongue in your coffee you are wasting its value. If you want to add CBD to your coffee make sure you are using a product that is designed to be digested.
  • The brand you are buying from should be clear about the product being a tincture (ie: designed to be held under the tongue) vs a water soluble product that is designed to be drunk or eaten.
  • It’s important to make sure that anything you are using as an edible is being marketed as an edible. If it’s not meant to be an edible, you’re wasting your money.

How To Use CBD

  • Making sure you’re dosing correctly is trial and error. Boronia journals every day to track her responses.
  • “That got me to a point where I know that 33 mg every day is perfect for me.”
  • If you’re new to CBD products, use the recommended dosage for the product and go from there.
  •  “Get into a regime because then you’re operating from a place of fullness rather than deficiency.”
  • If you’re not feeling any change after three days, get in contact with the company you bought it from and ask questions. Figure out the best way to use it for you.

Perks of CBD

  • Boronia swears by CBD because it helps her but gives her no side effects.
  • “It’s like coming out of a really epic meditation but it’s with you throughout the whole day.”
  • Any time people say it doesn’t work for them it is often because they are expecting to feel something in their head, but that is not where CBD is at work.
  • “It doesn’t fix you, it helps your body fix itself.”
  • “How can I bring balance back into my life?”

Some Of Your Questions:

Should I get off of my anxiety medications and switch to CBD? 

  • Absolutely not—get in touch with your doctor and discuss with them that you want to try cannabinoids. Plenty of people do both.

Should you take CBD when you’re pregnant?

  • No. We don’t know the science of what it does to a fetus. If you really want to, consult your doctor.

What are the top reasons to take CBD?

  • Effective pain reliever, anti-inflammatory, anxiety reducing, helps sleep, appetite control, moderates the number of seizures people have.

What are your favorite products?

  • Boronia’s company sells bath bombs and she also loves vaping. It hits your bloodstream really quickly so you can take as needed. And, Mello just launched their own product, delicious Sea Salted Caramels with 15mg of CBD in each bite.

Boronia advises that you should just give CBD a go! Test it for a while, journal about what it does for you, and make it work for you. However, if you experience any adverse effects, absolutely stop taking it. You can keep up with Boronia on Instagram at @boroniamarie and visit her website at MelloDaily.com, Instagram at @mellodailycbd, or email her at [email protected].

If you want to learn more, head over to https://mellodaily.com/cbd-facts/.

If you like the podcast, I want to invite you to subscribe to the podcast and leave a rating and review. It helps us to get the episode out to more people and means the world to us! We’d love to hear your reactions to this specific episode and what topics you want to hear more of!

Fab Fit Fun is a seasonal subscription box that has FULL-SIZED beauty, fitness, fashion, and lifestyle products and I am so obsessed, y’all. The contents always have a worth of about $200 the boxes only cost $49.99! A few of my favorites from this box: a travel yoga mat, Vitamin C serum, and a gold eye mask. Even better? You get to customize what goes into your box! If you’ve ever thought about trying it—now is the time! If you go to www.fabfitfun.com and use code TRW, you’ll get $10 off your first box!

XO,

Kat Harris

Check out this episode!