Podcast

How to Marie Kondo Your Mental Health

07.10.19

Hi, friends! I am so grateful that you are back for another episode and I am so excited to share this one with you! This week I’m talking to Dr. Therese Mascardo—she is the CEO and founder of Exploring Therapy, where the mission is to build a life you don’t need a vacation from. She gives such clear and practical insight. You will walk away from this episode with more than some great theories; you will walk away with multiple things you can do TODAY to support your mental health.

Just like Marie Kondo aims to spark joy by tidying up, you can live a more joyful life by applying those same rules to your mental health.

  1. Commit
  • The first step in anything is committing to the process and making the change.
  • “You have to be motivated and willing to commit to therapy for it to work for you.”

  1. Visualize
  • You need to be concrete and specific about what you want and what you’d like your life to look like. It helps to physically write it down!
  • We think about what we don’t want instead of what we do want, which isn’t that helpful.”
  • Visualizing bad outcomes is a shortcut to having anxiety. Though anxiety is like the guard dog of our brain, we can shift our relationship with it.
  • “It’s not just God’s way or my way—it is my way together with God.”
  1. Declutter
  • You need to get rid of the things that are weighing you down.
  • “Possessions are things you own and baggage is what owns you.”
  • Baggage can be people, thoughts, items, SO many things.
  • “We need to treat our emotions as valuable consultants in our lives.”
  • To identify your baggage, ask yourself: “How do I feel when I am around this? Is this serving me? 

  1. Categorize
  • You need to approach your mental health with a plan.
  • “A therapist is usually a person who can hear your struggles, hear where you want to be, and say ‘here are the steps we are going to take.'”
  • We need to be proactive with our problems and take control instead of being reactive when we feel things falling apart.
  • “Allowing yourself to look down the road and plan ahead is one of the biggest gifts you can give yourself.”
  1. Order
  • “Prioritize the tasks you are taking on for your mental health and focus on the things that move the dial the most.”
  • You can’t focus on solving your mommy/daddy issues if you don’t have a roof over your head. You need to prioritize what you put your energy into.
  • “Work on your relationship with yourself first.”
  1. Joy
  • Consult with your feelings and discover what sparks joy.
  • “Ask yourself if it sparks joy, not other people, not Instagram, not your friends.”
  • Seeking input from others is valuable, but we have taken it too far.

I mean how good is all of her insight? You can keep up with her on Instagram at @exploring.therapy and her website www.ExploringTherapy.com.

If you know anything about my style, it’s this: simple and minimal. I love feeling feminine and pulled together but hate when it takes a lot of time and drama to get ready! For jewelry, I love minimalistic pieces from Ana Luisa! I love the quality of their pieces, the reasonable prices, and they are socially conscious—they use 100% recycled gold. If you want to buy some pieces from Ana Luisa (AND get $10 off your order), go to www.AnaLuisa.com/therefinedcollective.

Check out this episode!

Podcast

Real Talk: Dating in Your 30s vs. 20s

07.03.19

 

 

Kristina is the founder of the DTR Blog– @thedtrblog on Instagram. She started it when she was going through her own dating struggles and it slowly grew over time and is now a massive community. You’ve probably seen her wit and wisdom all over the internet. This episode, we chat about why she started The DTR Blog and how her own dating journey has evolved over the years.

 

 

Dating In Your 20s

Kristina was raised as a Christian and rebelled a bit in college. After college, she lived in England and met a guy. Within three months, they were talking about engagement. They prayed about whether they should be married and ultimately, he broke up with her. This breakup, paired with her mother passing away, led her to several panic attacks every day and she spiraled into drinking and workaholic mode. Then, at 28, she moved in with her dad and quit her job.

While beginning her healing journey, she began the DTR Blog as a way for comedy to heal her and enter her church life. Because of her memes, she got a book deal and now she is living happily in Los Angeles. 

Dating in your 20s involves a lot of the internet and some girls in their 20s just don’t realize that the behavior they see from men online is unacceptable. Sure, a guy can slide into your DMs, but the way he does it is very important. She noticed when the DTR Blog grew that more men were reaching out on DMs and as a result she has had more set-ups. However, she also gets creepy stalkers reaching out to her on DM.

 

 

Dating In Your 30s

Kristina has matured in the way she approaches dating and healing. “I want to get married, but if that doesn’t happen that’s okay.”

She offers some great advice on how to be normal in dating:

  1. Know what you believe about God + yourself
    • “You can’t be successful in dating if you don’t know who you are or what you believe”
    • You don’t have to pray about going on a first date…unless he’s a super creeper!
  2. Keep it light + fun
    • It’s important to have people to support you in the journey because it can be hard + weird dating these days!
  3. Community
    • It’s important to have people to support you in the journey because it can be hard + weird dating these days.

Keep up with Kristina on Instagram at @thedtrblog, where she will update you on her book that is coming out! You can also learn more about her at her website, TheDTRBlog.com.

If there’s anyone who understands how frustrating dating as a Christian woman in today’s culture is, it’s me. So, first things first, I just want to say I see you.  And as real as all of these feelings are, it’s time to SHIFT our mindset ladies.

The Activate Your Dating Life Program is an implementation program that not only shows you exactly how to actively step into dating with vision, clarity, confidence, and freedom.  But also, how to put yourself out there and actually meet quality single, godly men, while being surrounded by a community of powerful women cheering you on!

Here’s all the information you need. 

Check out this episode!

Podcast

056: 5 Tips to Unpacking Your Calling & Purpose

06.12.19

This is the first time ever I have had two guests at the same time! This week, I’m talking with Mac and Kenz of Delight Ministries. Together, they co-founded Delight Ministries for college women. It has chapters at about 150 different college campuses! They meet weekly to create space for women to come and feel known and loved and build each other up. They also host a podcast, which you can listen to here. This episode, they give practical tools for how you can unpack your calling and purpose.

Unpacking your Calling + Purpose

  1. Solidify your identity
  • You have to know who you are! If you hang your identity on something like ‘good at playing guitar,’ you’re setting yourself up for an identity crisis when you realize how many other people are also good at playing guitar.
  • “I could become president tomorrow and my identity would not change.”
  • This goes for jobs as well as relationships—never place your identity in either!
  • A good indicator that your identity is misplaced is when you feel like you are constantly striving and struggling to prove yourself.
  1. Healing from your past
  • We take baggage into new seasons of our lives—both the good and the bad.
  • For the bad, you have to unpack that so that it doesn’t become dead weight, drag you down, and negatively affect your future.
  • Your past traumas have the potential to bring light to your future.
  • “Let God search you and search yourself to be able to move forward.”
  • A tangible way of doing this is to stop blaming and start taking ownership of circumstances.

  1. Grow spiritually mature
  • “Stepping into our calling meant that our life was probably going to look different to the people around us.”
  • They believe in active waiting—you can be productive while you’re waiting. You have to be constantly taking steps toward your calling.
  • Seeking God, community, and self-awareness are all active.
  1. Stop comparing
  • Identify what comparison is stealing your joy and bring it to light.
  • “Comparison is turning up the volume of the enemy’s voice in our lives.”
  • The antidote to comparison is celebrating others who you would otherwise be jealous of.
  • Don’t become so focused on comparison that you find yourself in someone else’s calling instead of your own.
  • “What’s right and perfect for her is not going to be what’s right and perfect for me.”
  • “When I celebrate her gifts, it gives me freedom to really step into my unique gifts.”

  1. Step into your passions
  • “So many of us are half-heartedly following these whole-hearted dreams.”
  • Heads up, ladies… guys are really into when women are wholeheartedly following their dreams.
  • “Your relationship should feel like a gift, not an achievement.”
  • Follow the things that light you up and make you feel whole.
  • So many people are too afraid to step into their passions because of the fear of failure.
  • Piece of advice: Grab a friend who has the same passion and step into it together!

Keep up with these amazing ladies on their website at DelightMinistries.com. Get in touch with them if you want to start a chapter of Delight Ministries on your college campus! You can buy their book “How to Prepare for Your Future Love Story” here!

P.S. I’ve taken your top questions + doubts + insecurities + made them into a FREE ONLINE WORKSHOP NEXT WEEK:  The 3 Biggest Breakthroughs that Will Transform Your Dating Life:  Equipping You to Navigate Christian dating in a swipe-right, swipe left culture with intention, hope, and clarity.

So FRIEND….SIGN YOURSELF UP FOR A SPOT. Click here!

Check out this episode!

XO,

Kat Harris