Don’t Take it Personal: Kat’s End of Year Tell-All


Hi, friends! Welcome back to The Refined Collective podcast—it is our final episode of the year! It’s a solo show so you bet there will be random singing and Beyoncé references! This week, I’m not asking the questions… YOU are. You guys sent in your questions over on Instagram and in this episode, I’m answering as many as I could fit into a single episode. You guys know how weird I feel about recording solo shows so please let me know your feedback and if you’d want to hear more of these types of episodes.

  1. How do you deal with unhealthy overthinking and constantly taking things personally?
  • It’s important to let your community into your overthinking.
  • When you find yourself taking something personally, think: “They have something coming up for them that has nothing to do with me.”

  1. How do I give space and patience towards my boyfriend who is struggling letting go completely from his past relationship?
  • There’s an important conversation to be had here about recognizing emotional availability and standing in your worth.
  1. I’d love practical language on entering a conversation with a friend of mine who is a Christian and is dating a someone who is not.
  • It’s important to check in with your own heart on what you afraid of happening in this situation.

  1. How long have you been a Christian?
  • I went to a summer camp at 16 because all of the popular kids were going— but even from the very first night, this inexplicable thing ignited in my heart.
  • This is not to say that there haven’t been hard moments—because there have.
  1. Highs and lows for 2019/What is your vision for 2020 and TRW?!
  • My year started really painfully, but it gave me perspective to focus on spending the rest of the year enjoying time with the people I love.
  • Biggest high of the year is very exciting: I signed with a publisher for my book!
  1. Best and worst date of 2019?
  • Best: We went to a café, went hiking, and had a picnic. He kept surprising me!
  • Worst: I liked a guy + thought we were on the same page until he went MIA.

If you are enjoying the podcast, I want to invite you to leave a rating and review on iTunes! We love hearing what your favorite episodes are and always welcome any general feedback! It also helps us be more visible in the iTunes world. If you want to leave a review but don’t know how, head over to @therefinedcollective on Instagram and find the “Review 101” under story highlights.

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From Wall Street to Career Coach: Shifting Roles and Shifting Mindsets


Jena Viviano is an ex-Wall Streeter turned career coach and entrepreneur who helps go-getter professionals articulate their personal branded career story to land their dream jobs. Stay tuned to hear us chat about Wall Street, faith journeys, shifting mindsets, eating disorders, and hear me drop Beyoncé’s name because of course! (Bonus: we have a quick chat about dating because Jena has an incredible boyfriend!)

Wall Street

·      We chat about what happens when we achieve the thing we think is going to fulfill us… and turns out it doesn’t fulfill us at all.

·      “God, I don’t know if you are real, but if you are: get me out of here.”

·      During her time on Wall Street, she developed an eating disorder.

·      “Instead of trying to fix the things that are “wrong with me,” why don’t I just lean into the things that I’m really good at.”

·      Jena shares how she was able to make a career pivot.

Integrating Faith at Work

·      “For a long time, I thought about my job being my provider, but really the reality is God is my provider. That mindset shift helped me take bigger risks from taking that side hustle to full hustle.”

1.     Stay silent vs. Bible beating—it doesn’t have to be one or the other. Hear how Jena balances sharing her faith at work.

2.     Are we using our gifts? Are we encouraging others to do the same?

3.     Pray and put action behind it.

4.     Take a redemptive lens to work.

5.     How does generosity play into your work?

6.     Instead of compartmentalizing, show up as a whole person.

Battling an Eating Disorder

·      Jena sought counseling, health coaching, and rewired her thoughts.

·      The first step to healing was changing the environment she was in.

·      Bottom line: there is hope!

Keep up with Jena at her websitepodcastInstagram, and LinkedIn. You can get her free devotional at www.jenaviviano.com/wordatwork.

Single ladies— are you frustrated by the dating world? This is brought to you by my free guide called “6 Tips to Activate Your Dating Life with Intention and Clarity.” These resources propelled me from sitting on the couch to out on a date. Head over to Bit.ly/trwdating to check it out! 


Check out this episode!


Creating Space for Grief


Today we are recording in Rockefeller Center a long way from my Brooklyn closet. I have my dear friend Carrie Gracey Lloyd on the podcast today! She has a podcast called “The Carrie On…” that you can check it out here. In this episode, we chat about grief, how to walk through it, how it can challenge your faith, and the importance of creating space for your grief.

On Grief

“I love redemption stories, but if we don’t look at the grief, we don’t know where the lord is going to show up.” 

·      I have been walking through a lot of grief this year and Carrie’s podcast episodes on grief have helped me feel so seen and understood.

·      Carrie shares her experience with grief from losing family and friends from a young age.

·      We chat about the unhealthy ways we often cope with grief because it often feels our culture doesn’t allow us to grieve.

Creating Space for Grief

·      She outlines her process of following a “grieving plan,” where she actually takes time out of her day to process, reflect, and work through her pain and grief.

·      “I’ve sometimes felt God weep with me.”

·      Just as children allow themselves to cry and feel, we need to allow ourselves to grieve.

·      Carrie describes the relief and release she felt after grieving.


Grief and Faith

·      People tend to question their faith when they are grieving.

·      “I think it’s alright to ask those questions as long as we don’t stay there for too long because that therefore meant that our belief in God was based on circumstances.”

The Other Side of Grief

·      We have to give ourselves permission to move forward.

·      “The heart holds onto grief until you actually process it.”

·      The process of healthy grieving will become quicker the more you go through it.

Keep up with Carrie: at her website, her podcast, her book, her other book, and on Instagram.

Single ladies— are you frustrated by the dating world? This is brought to you by my free guide called “6 Tips to Activate Your Dating Life with Intention and Clarity.” These resources propelled me from sitting on the couch to out on a date. Head over to Bit.ly/trwdating to check it out! 


Check out this episode!