Sexless in the City

Sexless in the City | Confessions of a 29 yr Old Virgin in NYC

12.04.14

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Real Sex in the City | Confessions of a 29 year old Single-Virgin living in NYC.

Yes…You did read that right.  You can go ahead and read it again…I know; it’s shocking.

My name is Katherine, and I am a 29 year old single virgin (by choice) chasing my dreams here in New York City.

When I was 17 years old I made a commitment to myself, to my future husband, to God that I would wait until marriage.  I believe sex to be one of the most holy acts we as humans can experience; it’s sacred, physical, spiritual, and everything in between.

Now I find myself at almost 30 years old, living in New York City, single, a Jesus follower, and a virgin.  It was one thing to make this declaration as a high school senior, and has been another thing altogether to walk it out.  Friends…it is not easy, and anyone who tells you so is a liar!

Here’s a little background to my story…

I’m from Texas, and assumed like most southern girls that I’d be married by the time I was 20.

A mere 10 years ago when I was a college sophomore in Dallas Texas, I remember saying to my best friend at the time (who has now been married for almost a decade, has a house and two kids) “I know I already know him (my husband). We’re probably already friends, and don’t even know it”.

Man…what a statement.  As a 19 year old I was convinced I was going to marry one of the guys in my group of friends from High School; it was very Friday Night Lights of me.

My plan was that I’d go through college, meet my husband, be swept off my feet, get married after we both graduated, travel, and eventually settle down somewhere in the south near our families to have kids.  The perfect little life in the perfect little box that I had created for it.

Now there’s nothing wrong with wanting those things; it’s just that my life has turned out completely different.

Without going into my entire history here are the cliff notes:

I graduated college oh-so-single  (No MRS degree here folks), and moved to California two weeks later to work for a non profit. I traveled all over the US doing advocacy living out of a van completely broke, and created some of the best memories of my life. From there I went to Africa, backpacked through Europe, worked at a other non profit, started my photography business, and eventually my fashion and lifestyle blog which all have led me all over Cali, the east coast, the Bahamas, Jamaica, Caribbean, and more, and ultimately all the way here to New York City to chase some pretty epic dreams.

If I had gotten things the way I planned, I would have a good life.  It’s just that God always has a more imaginative, creative, journey for our lives.  Never did I ever think I’d be a photographer and blogger in New York City, and never did I ever think I’d be almost 30 and single, yet here I am.

Back to dating.

I have never been much of a dater, and because of being hurt in the past I really had shied away from it for most of my life.

Until moving to NYC….In the last year I have dated more than I dated in the last 3 years combined.  At this point, I have tried almost every form of online dating, not out of desperation, but for the purse sense of trying it out and being open to possibility.

Over the last year I have had some of the worst dating experiences of my life, coupled with some of the most beautiful moments, and dates that have felt completely magical.  I’ve embarrassed myself, been stood up, almost stood someone up (but just didn’t have the guts to do it), and at the end of the day have had some hot tears alongside lots and lots of laughs.

So many of my friends back home think I live this sexy life here, and yes there are definitely fabulous moments; it’s New York City for crying out loud!  But life is hard, dating is hard, and this is a space where I’m going to divulge my fancy and more-or-less not so fancy dating life here in The Big Apple.

Precursor:  I am a works in progress.  I don’t have it all figured out.  I make strides, and I also make big fat messes of things.  By no means do I have it altogether.

I’m just a girl trying to be honest about real life…or my real life dating here in the city, and if you stick around I can assure you that I have some pretty stellar stories.

Here’s to believing that the journey is actually the destination, and to hoping that the best is yet to come…and oh ya also that one day I will meet an amazing man to partner through life with!  (I’m praying those big prayers y’all).

XO,
Kat

 

3 comments on “Sexless in the City | Confessions of a 29 yr Old Virgin in NYC”

  1. Hey! Writing this might sound weird, but about 30 minutes ago I was complaining about God and His plans for me. I’m 20 right now, and I’ve taken the attitude of “these are my 20’s, I can do whatever I want” and as much as I would like to do crazy stuff, thinking about my parents and how they would feel and the respect I have for God don’t let me.
    I was complaining because I hear everywhere “God has a plan for you”, but I’m scared that his plan for me is just getting married, having kids, settling with a regular life and not getting out of my country, because I deeply wish to travel, to work in something related to fashion and writing and just enjoy that. The idea of settling young and not following my dreams gives me little heart attacks, and I’m still struggling with that, but reading your post was so encouraging and so inspiring. Thanks Kat…Thank you so much!

  2. Your me minus the being from Texas and traveling all over the world, I’m from NYC and only went away for college. Trying to not give up and find my true love. Rooting for the both of us.

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