Podcast

048: How to Praise Before Our Breakthrough

05.09.19

Is your dream too big for you?

It better be, because that will force you to pray circles around it.  If you keep circling it in prayer, God will get bigger and bigger until you see your impossible prayer for what is really is: an easy answer for an almighty God.

-Mark Batterson

Last week in worship, I just sat down and started thanking God like I had never done so before for all the impossible things in my life. I praised Him like the breakthroughs had already come. I thanked God for my husband, our Godly marriage, my financial breakthrough, and restoration in my family.

If there was any person that needed a miracle; it was this woman…

Hannah in Samuel 1 was a woman who married to a man named Elkanah. At this time, a woman’s purpose was marriage and motherhood, particularly motherhood to boys. She felt such shame for not being successful in having kids. She was so depressed she would not eat. Elkanah was determined to fix her and reminded her that his love can be enough.

When Hannah went to the temple for the annual sacrifice, she was distressed and wept with her face on the floor. She was crying out for her breakthrough. The priest, Eli, comes to her and says she is crazy and drunk. She stands up for herself, stands up for her faith, and stands up for her breakthrough.

God softens Eli’s heart and he blesses peace over her. Her prayer isn’t answered, but her depression lifts in these moments. God answered her prayer, but it didn’t happen overnight. It came in due time. She had a son and named him Samuel. The biggest miracle was one child—Hannah ended her life with six.

Because God is ABLE

  • Daniel 3:17-18—If this be so our God whom we serve is Abel to deliver us from the burning fiery furance, and he will deliver us out of your hand, O king.  But if not, be it known to you, O King, that we will not serve your gods or worship that golden image that you have set up

It reorients my affections on who God is

  • Isaiah 43:19—I make streams in the desert.
  • When there is no way, God makes a way.
  • God is bigger than my circumstances—statistics are nothing for Him. Nothing is impossible to Him.

It keeps me dependent on him

  • We live in a culture that says I am the captain of my own ship.  And yes, I believe we have way more power and authority that so many people of faith think they have access to.  But I also believe that I need someone bigger than me, to come into my life and circumstances to restore.

It allows me to stay connected to hope + gratitude

  • Romans 5:5 says hope does not put us to shame.
  • What if we hoped and prayed and believed for miracles, breakthroughs, and the impossible like we had NO SHAME!? Trusting that even if/when God doesn’t answer our prayer how we want him to—that He works all things together for the good of those who love him (Romans 8:28) and that even what the enemy meant for evil, God is going to use for good (Genesis 50:20).

God gets the credit + glory

  • My biggest dreams are small to God—He breathed life into creation.
  • Ephesians 3:20 says now to Him who is able to do abundantly more than we could ask or imagine, according to his power at work within us, to him be the glory.

What is that thing that feels too risky to hope for because you’ve been disappointed in the past? Do you have the audacity to praise before the breakthrough?

Thank you so much for listening to the podcast and being part of this community! If you enjoy listening, I want to invite you to subscribe to us on iTunes and rate and review us. Search “The Refined Collective” on the purple podcast app on your phone. Share your review on IG stories + tag us so we can show you some love!

Hey, single ladies— are you frustrated by the dating world? This episode is brought to you by my free guide called “6 Tips to Activate Your Dating Life with Intention and Clarity.” These resources helped propel me from sitting on the couch to out on a date. Head over to Bit.ly/trwdating to check it out! With you on the journey.

XO,

Kat

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Podcast

047: Do I Have An Eating Disorder?

05.02.19

I wish we would have this conversation sitting on the couch looking eye to eye because today I’m talking about something really vulnerable that I haven’t talked publicly about in a long time. When we are neck deep in a struggle, we want the get healed quick miracle process… but healing doesn’t work that way and this episode is not that quick fix. I’m here to share my eating disorder, and my path to freedom.  My  hope is that whether you’re neck deep in an eating disorder or you struggle with your body image, that you’ll be able to walk away from this podcast episode encouraged and with practical tools to support you in walking into more freedom.

I believe God has more freedom than you could possibly imagine. But there is no quick fix to freedom. It takes work, discipline, courage, honesty, and the willingness to fail and fall over and over and over again. However, if we are brave enough—we will use those fumbles as our greatest teachers.

“This is especially true of people who rumble with failure. These are people who choose courage over comfort, accountability over blame, and are able to embed key learnings from failures into their lives.” — Brene Brown

All throughout high school, I was an athlete and I was so focused on training to be a D1 athlete that I didn’t stop to worry about body image. However, once I got to college as a D1 tennis player, I noticed the body dysmorphia in my fellow athletes with whom I spent all of my time. I didn’t get it—but slowly their disfunction rubbed off on me.

Almost overnight, food was my main thought. Our coach had us do weigh ins every week and keep daily food journals. One day after practice, my friends and I ate a lot of food. One girl suggested we go throw up our food, so we went behind the dumpsters outside our dorm and she taught us how to throw up our food.

I continued to do this for once or twice a week and I felt guilty about it and honestly I was bad at it. I stopped throwing up my food, but I would binge eat and count calories to make sure I could burn off all of them afterwards. As a collegiate athlete, I was already working out 6 hours a day, but I would work out even more on top of that.

Fast forward, I ultimately quit tennis for a lot of reasons. I thought the eating disorder would just dissolve because of this, but my relationship with food remained the same. It was then that I realized I had a problem and I did not want to wait to reach my rock bottom before I sought help.

Admit You Have a Problem

The cliché is true—the first step is admitting you have a problem. I remember my “aha!” moment clearly, but it didn’t change my relationship with food.

Pause—Identify Your Triggers in the Moment

I had to pause to take note of what would come up for me every time I would binge. Why did I do that? What led to this? A friend introduced me to “HALT” – was I hungry, angry, lonely, or tired? Where in your life are you feeling a loss of control? What are you not wanting to feel? Often we inflict pain on ourselves because it’s easier to pinpoint—I feel pain because I ripped that hang nail off + now I’m bleeding as opposed to digging into the dark, murky, cold, waters of my past.

Refuse to Demonize Food

Do you ever shame your body with friends and then all of a sudden you’re all just self-shaming Mean Girls-style? When I moved to Los Angeles, the women I lived with decided that none of us were allowed to body shame or demonize food. Friends, we were built for community.

Healing is NOT Linear, But Healing is Possible

The healing process is slow, it takes community, and it is not linear. We have to praise the progress instead of focusing on failures and dig into the root of our problems. Never rule out therapy, 12-step programs, or inpatient/outpatient programs. Even if you have to put your life on pause for a year—investing in your well-being is the best thing you can do with your time and money.

Today, I have learned to listen to and honor my body when it comes to working out and when it comes to eating. When I reach for a donut, I know that I an eating it because I feel like eating it and not because I want to numb out.

“She had not known the weight until she felt the freedom” — The Scarlet Letter

Being obsessed with food is not normal.  Not being able to eat without counting calories or mentally noting how much you’ll have to work out later is dysfunctional.  Throwing up your food and starving yourself is bondage.  Pretending like it’s not a problem is insane.

There is freedom for you.

More than you can possibly imagine.

You won’t know how much the weight of this bondage is crushing you until you start stepping towards freedom + I promise you it’s worth the work; it’s worth bringing to light; and it’s worth fighting for…because you are worth it.

Thank you so much for listening to the podcast and being part of this community! If you enjoy listening, I want to invite you to subscribe to us on iTunes and rate and review us. Search “The Refined Collective” on the purple podcast app on your phone. Share your review on IG stories + tag us so we can show you some love!

Hey, single ladies— are you frustrated by the dating world? This episode is brought to you by my free guide called “6 Tips to Activate Your Dating Life with Intention and Clarity.” These resources helped propel me from sitting on the couch to out on a date. Head over to Bit.ly/trwdating to check it out! With you on the journey.

XO,

Kat Harris

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Podcast

046: How to be 100% in Your Worth

04.23.19

Have you ever heard of manifesting? It is rooted in science and psychology, but is also mixed with the spiritual. Have you ever tried it? Well, this week’s guest is a manifestation adviser. And if you’re thinking ‘Is it possible to manifest the relationship I want?’ the answer is YES! Lacy Phillips talks with me all about subconscious blocks, manifesting what we want, and growing our self-worth.

“Our thoughts don’t create our reality, our subconscious beliefs do.”

Lacy talks about the four things deep down inside of her that make up her authentic code of who she is. It’s different for everybody, but hers is: luxury, being seen, self-care, and legacy. Everybody has a unique authentic code and getting clear on what those four things are will help you to manifest more clearly.

“Figure out who you are and refine it.”

She encourages everyone to really reflect on what they truly want in order to be happy rather than what all of the societal groups they are in tell them they need in order to be happy.

“What lights me up?”

Lacy recognizes that manifesting isn’t just about getting the end result that we really want. 

“When you get ‘the thing,’ you’re not going to be happy. It’s when you peel away the layers to see what lights you up how you can be totally whole and authentically worthy that a) you will get ‘the thing’ and b) you will already be happy. All of that will just be an enhancement.”

What blocks you from the relationships you want?

Lacy explains that this all comes down to our self-worth. People look to partners to treat as idols, yet many people treat themselves as unworthy. Maybe this is rooted from childhood family dynamics or physical insecurities. These subconscious blocks need to be addressed before you can manifest the relationship you want.

How to be 100% in your worth

Most people on a conscious level recognize they have self-worth, but if you go down onto a subconscious and hypnotic level, the limiting beliefs come out and contradict that. That block needs to be removed. From there, the limiting beliefs can be addressed.

“Whatever you’re looking for starts to show up repeatedly when you grow your worth.”

After growing in self-worth, a person will notice that their potential partners will appear as ‘tests’ to them. When you are more in tune with yourself, you’ll notice those red flags in others and will not pursue relationships with those people. Then, you’re leaving space for the right person to enter your life.

“We need to get into the place where we never undervalue our wants and needs.”

Keep up with Lacy on Instagram at @tobemagnetic and her website tobemagnetic.com. She’ll be launching a retreat soon called @theforestretreat. She also has a podcast that releases a new episode each Friday called Expanded with Lacy Phillips.

Thank you so much for listening to the podcast and being part of this community! If you enjoy listening, I want to invite you to subscribe to us on iTunes and rate and review us. Search “The Refined Collective” on the purple podcast app on your phone. Share your review on IG stories + tag us so we can show you some love!

Hey, single ladies— are you frustrated by the dating world? This episode is brought to you by my free guide called “6 Tips to Activate Your Dating Life with Intention and Clarity.” These resources helped propel me from sitting on the couch to out on a date. Head over to Bit.ly/trwdating to check it out! With you on the journey.

Check out this episode!