I turned 30 this summer, and I’m truly discovering who the ‘real me’ is, or to be cliche: my authentic self. Not the person I want to be, or think I should be, but the person I’m created to be. The person I already am. My scale has gotten dusty as I have become less and less aware of the number on it, and more and more interested in honoring my body through yoga and being healthy. As different situations have come up this year I’ve learned I have a lot more room to grown in the ‘people pleasing’ department. I’m learning it’s ok to disappoint others; it happens. We’re humans, and we can’t please everyone. And I’ll live a life in bondage to others if I go around trying to do and be everything for everyone. I’m discovering the power of saying no, and the power of not letting my career or relationships run me. I’m learning that to be the most creative and connected me, I get to take time to be alone with God everyday. I get to work out everyday too. My net has become smaller. The amount of things I can accomplish in a day has decreased. And in it all, I’m seeing an invitation to get rid of the clutter, and noises in my life to be. And be fully the woman God created me to be.
So what in the world does this have to do with my Capsule post this week? Everything really. A few years ago I would have never worn a fitted skirt (even if it’s ankle length). But as I’ve grown to love myself more I’ve grown to love my strong legs more. They’re less an insecurity and more a constant reminder to be grateful for my strong quads, hamstrings, and booty that allow to me to practice yoga, photograph people, and run up and down a gazillion flights of stairs a day (a.k.a. basic living in NYC). They remind me that I’m a woman. I’m not wearing the skirt to show off my body, but because I now feel comfortable in my body and the fact that I am woman. Second, this whole process has been about me decluttering my life. I put pressure on myself as a blogger and a woman in the fashion industry to stay on top of trends. I love clothes. I love new things. But I can’t afford new things all the time. And I am enough and fine right now. My clothes don’t dictate my worth. But I want to feel good in them.
And in this outfit I feel good. I feel like a woman. I feel beautiful. And with 75% of my clothes given to Goodwill this fall my closet is pretty sparse. But it’s full of pieces that I feel good and beautiful in.