Sexless in the City

Make Eye Contact and Wait



She leaned over and asked, “Do you want to meet a guy or not?”

My best friend can be so annoying sometimes. “Of course I want to meet a guy” I replied.

“Well, you’re not going to meet him on this dance floor. No guy is going to have the guts to introduce to himself out here,” she said.

Because I’m stubborn, I ignored her advice. After all, why should I stop doing what I want to do just to meet a guy? Shouldn’t a man like me because of who I am?

Then again…. she’s the one with an amazing boyfriend, and I’m the one who’s single.

I reluctantly asked why she thought I needed to get off the dance floor in order to meet someone. She explained that while it’s not impossible to meet someone in between my Beyonce and Justin Bieber dance numbers; it is unlikely.

She had me look around the room. We were at a non-profit benefit party in the city, and there were well over 100 people.

I noticed there was a clear distinction between where the men were and where they were not. Those of us on the dance floor were mostly women — women who were either married or in a serious relationship. Every once in a while a guy would dance with his significant other for a song or two, then he’d shuffle off to grab a beer and talk about whatever guys talk about.

I quietly slid off my high horse. “Teach me your ways, oh wise one” I teased.

She reminded me that it takes guts to go up to a woman you don’t know and strike up a conversation. And if the woman is in a dance circle surrounded by 25 other women…. Well, forget it.

I realized she was right.  I have never met I guy I was truly interested in on the dance floor.

So what now?

Her advice was simple: make eye contact, smile and wait. If you see a person you’re might be interested in, do that, and wait. He’ll come and find you.

It sounded too easy to actually work, but I begrudgingly agreed to try her advice. We left the dance floor, walked around the room, and found a few guys that seemed like a maybe. Finally we looked at each other and laughed. She was the first to say there wasn’t anyone who seemed like a great fit for me. I sighed with relief, and we pranced back out to the dance floor.

The next day I volunteered at my church. We meet in a bar so it doesn’t smell very fresh at 9 am on a Sunday morning. As I was spraying Febreeze in one of the halls I saw a guy across the room. He was cute. Normally I would have walked past him with my eyes to the ground and minded my own Febreezing business. But I heard her voice in my head: make eye contact and smile. Then wait.

Against everything that was in me I decided to look up. Our eyes met, and I smiled. He smiled back. I walked past him and immediately felt like an idiot.

Why did I just do that? Am I boy crazy?

I continued my bathroom duties and went about the morning as usual. Once the service started I stood in the back so I could quietly slip out to check on the bathrooms.

As I was leaning against the bar I noticed someone approaching me. It was him. The guy.

Oh gosh. What do I do? Wait.

He leaned against the bar next to me, gave me a grin and said, “Hi, I’m Eric…” *



* ya right like I’m going to put his real name in here.

2 comments on “Make Eye Contact and Wait”

  1. shut up! Amazing. Can’t wait to hear more. My dad always told me to smile too. it does work! But i’m with you girl, how can you NOT dance to the biebs? My shoulders would start pulsing and i just. wouldn’t. be. able. to control myself…

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