Last weekend was my roommates 30th birthday. So a gaggle of us spent the weekend by the pool in the Hamptions. I was so excited to lay out in my new Albion Fit swimsuit. I mean honestly….how cute is it?
That night when I got out of the shower I noticed I had a white line across my newly golden tanned stomach. It was from where my skin folded over when I was propped up on my towel talking all day in the sun. I ran out to show my friends, and we all laughed. I thought it was hilarious. Maybe it shows me that maybe I shouldn’t eat cupcakes for breakfast, but what fun would that be?
But maybe it shows me that I’m a woman, and that my imperfections are perfectly imperfect.
I think the last time I had a thigh gap was when I was 13. I didn’t really even know it was a thing until all that big hoopla last year. Every step I take that my legs brush against one another is a beautiful reminder that I have strong quads and hamstrings that allow me to live this wonderful life that I have.
This strong body of mine allows me to photograph weddings on my feet for 16 hour days, and then wake up the next morning and dart to yoga then church with coffee dates in between. Strong is the new skinny in my book.
Getting to this place was a long journey. I won’t hide that fact that I struggled with an eating disorder in my early 20s, and lived in so much shame for a very long time that I was no size two. And I won’t pretend that miraculously over night I started to love the skin I was in. It took time, a lot of fighting, soul searching, counseling, and a community to encourage and love me to this place.
And now from an honest place I can say confidently I LOVE MY BODY. I am fearfully, and wonderfully and perfectly made.
And so are you.
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Photos c/o Tonhya Kae