Many of you have emailed and asked me questions about my story on waiting until marriage to have sex. In order to serve you better, this week I am talking with Church of the City New York pastor, Jon Tyson. And yes, he’s our very first man on our podcast! (No pressure Jon!) We talk about the cultural landscape of sexuality in Western culture, and how we got here. From the sexual revolution, to pornography, to online dating, to sex–we cover a lot of ground. We land on Jon describing what it looks like to develop a Christian vision for sexuality.
Y’all might want to grab a journal and pen for this one!
Leading the Conversation
- Twenty years ago, Jon moved to the US from Australia, and within a few weeks met his wife. They married soon after, and now they have two teenage kids..
- “My passion is helping people follow Jesus well at this time of history.”
- He talks about how marriage today is seen more and more as a contract, but he works to prove it is beyond that. “We are modeling a covenant.”
How Did We Get Here?
- Jon explains that there is a lot of disillusionment and frustration in society regarding sex, dating, relationships, and sexuality.
- Jon cites technology as a major reason for this sexual culture we live in. Porn’s availability leaves us without that human connection that is so important to the sexual experience.
- What has the church’s response to this been? Moral standards + will power = holiness. We discuss why this approach has not worked.
“Sex is a powerful force, and how we use it shapes us tremendously.”
- Jon asks why we as a society date people we know we don’t actually like. Is it because we lack a vision for our love life?
Developing a New Vision for Christian Sexuality
- Sex points beyond itself.
- Jon teaches that sex points beyond the physical to our deep longing to be apart of something great than ourselves, outside of ourselves–to be full known, seen, and accepted.
- Vision of Holistic Integration.
- Culture is obsessed with sex and technique. Yet the Christian worldview is that of holistically integrating relationship, intimacy, heart, soul, mind, and strength.
- Sex is Tied to Our Transformation.
- Saying no to something we want in the moment has the capacity to produce deep growth within us through developing self-control, respect, and learning to think of others. Saying no to sex outside of marriage develops our character, and leads to the Christian idea of sacrificial love.
- A Witness to the World.
- Christian sexuality has the opportunity to offer a redemptive narrative in a world of hurt and brokenness. Why? Because God is a restorer; it’s what He does.
Jon’s Favorite Resources
There is so much to explore about this topic, so Jon is sharing a few of his favorite resources for y’all!
- Divine Sex by Jonathan Grant. He warns that it’s very heavy and philosophical. I am currently reading it and love it!
- Love Thy Body by Nancy Pearcey talks all about why our bodies matter.
- The final book he recommends is A Better Story by Glynn Harrison.
I hope y’all enjoyed this episode as much as I did. Our first-ever male podcast guest! If you enjoyed this episode, let me know. Screenshot you listening to it and share it with me on Instagram stories. I want to talk with you! Remember, tribe, you are not alone in this and God has a plan for you.
If you want more, I have something you’ll love. I made a free PDF guide called “While You Wait” full of resources that I personally found to be very helpful while I was finding my ‘why.’